mistakes?

THIS WEEKEND ARGH.

Friday: avoided the love of my life. resolved to never do anything even remotely personal with him ever again such that the insane staring during math never ever happens again. (for the purposes of older me: when you read this many many years later, please remember that you spent the greater part of an hour and thirty minutes just staring at the back of his head/curve of his nose, feeling so fucking shitty about yourself and him that you decided to let it go completely. so now what you do is that every time you pass by him without talking or doing anything, you take deep breaths and think ‘let it go let it go let it go’. it brings you unbelievable shitty vibes but i believe either it’ll get better or god will bring something else to your path such that you don’t die of pain or whatever.) so i was at the bus stop and i saw the rest of them at the squash courts and i thought he was also there like not playing squash but just sitting there and i couldn’t see like if he was there or not but i was at the bus stop anyhow and i decided to sink to my lowest point and just wait there until he came out and then we could go home together (i know i know it sounded fucking stupid even then but i was like let me hit rock bottom today). SO. while waiting, i switched on my phone magically cuz it had died before and LO AND BEHOLD there are like random messages from option 2!!! and i was like wtf why cuz we haven’t talked in like a month plus plus. but then we’ve been trivially chatting for these two days

sat: tuitions and sat (please please let it have gone well)

sunday: someone asked me to go to the library and i went and while i was there i got a text from option 2 again!! i feel like i should be completely honest, future me, and i should probably tell you that i didn;t even try to hide it. so guess what. he saw the ultimate bomb message and it totes looks like option 2 is asking me out and he took a pic of the message and sent it to people and their reactions were like ‘interesting’ and shit like that which makes me feel like a total celeb cuz nobody knows anything except conjecture. HAHA. i now realise that the lives of celebrities are pretty pathetic. its like a version of mine but they are pretty and thin.

woah. point is, a lot of things are happening and i don’t really know what to do but GUESS WHAT while writing about all this i finally realised what im going to write for the common app essay!

Describe a place or environment where you are perfectly content. What do you do or experience there, and why is it meaningful to you?

AJJI’S HOUSE! THE FANTASY OF ME RUNNING THERE and its so personal and its true!!! so if they accept me it’ll be because of who i am

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