hope is strange

hope is really weird, the way that it kind of just appears and disappears as it pleases. 
some days I really hope that I’m going to get into Penn and everything will be fine and ____ will tell me he loves me…the usual jazz, and some days I’m so disappointed as I relive my failure in all it’s hideousness. I imagine US Admissions people laughing at how positively STUPID my essays sound, how naive I am that I thought I could get into a place like Penn. Basically, laughing at me and my insecurities. I’ll never ever go to Penn and I’m never ever going to find some hot indian-american to fall in love with me and my life will never ever go the way I want it to 😦
I like to torture myself like this :/ 
Kaash ke yun ho jaave
Neend meri khul jaave
Aur koi kehde humse
Ye sapna tha

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