update #2

I felt that it was time for me to give an update of sorts on the current situation I’ve gotten myself into so I can clear my head a little and think straight for the next 24 hours.

School

I’m extremely petrified of chemistry these days. Somehow I just can’t bring myself to do it, even though I know that its extremely important and something I used to sincerely love back in secondary school. But then again, I think I didn’t know shit in secondary school about pretty much everything so thats hardly worth mentioning. In other news I got 17/20 for my economics dbq which shows that good things can happen if you try very hard to make them happen. Hindi exam countdown: 13 days, 12 if I don’t count today, which I shouldn’t because I spent the day watching the Ugly Truth and Legally Blonde (time spent doing something you love isn’t wasted time, or so I keep telling myself) and generally rejoicing that tomorrow is a holiday (yay for labour day!)

Drama is finally over and I am so happy that we ended it properly and I have no regrets. And I did manage to keep to my deadlines and reduce my procrastination (?) The thing I’m most worried about is that I am not working nearly hard enough to get where I want to get in life. I can’t do any work ugh and I get so anxious about not doing any work that I spend all my time worrying about not doing work and eventually can’t get anything done. Its awful. 

Personal

We’ve finally decided on a prom table, and I’m having mixed feelings because someone who I really wanted on that table isn’t going to be there now and I’m not sure that I truly like those who will be there. Its complicated, but I have faith that it’ll get better eventually. Not everything needs to have a terrible ending though, right? 

Trying to focus less on guys and more on work work work. Its terrible that I appear more focused in school where in fact I’m a nervous mess at home. The discordance is frightening, to say the least. 

please please please let things get better.

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