resonant

The Fellow Passenger on a Crashing Train 

Even though I’ve just met you, I believe we will be friends.
First, I will tell you something about me, then you can tell me something about you, as that, I believe, is how friendship works.
Here is something I believe: I believe that people don’t know how people work when they’re young and maybe that’s why we’re so reckless with each other when we’re young.
I think people think that people come and go, in and out of life and I think that school teaches them that, that life changes in big annual movements, that one year you’re this and the next, you’re that. But life blends into itself as you get older and you realise, you will watch a few, if not many, of your friends get old.
You will watch them lose their minds and their hair. You will watch them get sick and get better. You will watch them succeed and fail. You will watch them get married, get divorced, get pregnant and yes, eventually, you will watch them die. Or they will watch you die.
So this is what I believe friendship means. And I’m sorry to have to put such a heavy burden on you. But you have put the same burden on me.
Now you can tell me something you believe, as it is your turn, and this is how friendship works.

—Iain S. Thomas 

forgetting/running

one day i woke up and i realised that i had forgotten what i looked like. that day i 
remember looking in the mirror and feeling disappointed.
i hope that one day i'll make myself so valuable
that i will never have to feel disappointed ever again

i just wish that you would see that we're exactly the same
and i wish you wouldn't see this similarity
as a reason to run away

update #2

I felt that it was time for me to give an update of sorts on the current situation I’ve gotten myself into so I can clear my head a little and think straight for the next 24 hours.

School

I’m extremely petrified of chemistry these days. Somehow I just can’t bring myself to do it, even though I know that its extremely important and something I used to sincerely love back in secondary school. But then again, I think I didn’t know shit in secondary school about pretty much everything so thats hardly worth mentioning. In other news I got 17/20 for my economics dbq which shows that good things can happen if you try very hard to make them happen. Hindi exam countdown: 13 days, 12 if I don’t count today, which I shouldn’t because I spent the day watching the Ugly Truth and Legally Blonde (time spent doing something you love isn’t wasted time, or so I keep telling myself) and generally rejoicing that tomorrow is a holiday (yay for labour day!)

Drama is finally over and I am so happy that we ended it properly and I have no regrets. And I did manage to keep to my deadlines and reduce my procrastination (?) The thing I’m most worried about is that I am not working nearly hard enough to get where I want to get in life. I can’t do any work ugh and I get so anxious about not doing any work that I spend all my time worrying about not doing work and eventually can’t get anything done. Its awful. 

Personal

We’ve finally decided on a prom table, and I’m having mixed feelings because someone who I really wanted on that table isn’t going to be there now and I’m not sure that I truly like those who will be there. Its complicated, but I have faith that it’ll get better eventually. Not everything needs to have a terrible ending though, right? 

Trying to focus less on guys and more on work work work. Its terrible that I appear more focused in school where in fact I’m a nervous mess at home. The discordance is frightening, to say the least. 

please please please let things get better.

“THEORIES ABOUT THE UNIVERSE
I am trying to see things in perspective.
My dog wants a bite of my peanut butter 
chocolate chip bagel. I know she cannot 
have this, because chocolate makes dogs 
very sick. My dog does not understand this. 
She pouts and wraps herself around my leg 
like a scarf and purrs and tries to convince me 
to give her just a tiny bit. When I do not give in,
she eventually gives up and lays in the corner, 
under the piano, drooping and sad. I hope the 
universe has my best interest in mind like I have 
my dogs. When I want something with my whole 
being, and the universe withholds it from me, 
I hope the universe thinks to herself: “Silly girl. 
She thinks this is what she wants, but she 
does not understand how it will hurt.”
—Blythe Baird

21 People On How Life Has Changed Since They Went From Ugly To Hot (Featuring Before And After Photos)

this is where I want to be

Thought Catalog

Provided by the ugly ducklings at Reddit.

1. koalaberries

Well, I’ve done both things you mentioned (lost 100 pounds and gained a sense of style.) EVERYONE is nicer, not just women. Retail workers, professionals, people at bars.

I can say the most idiotic thing now and people will laugh (with me) and be interested in what I’m saying. Previously I could say something actually insightful or funny and just get ignored.

2. CarboToad

Same thing here. I haven’t gone through that much of a change, simply lost my acne, stayed the same weight, but changed about 20kg of fat into muscle, dressed better, and changed my persona a bit from self help material. However, the life change is MASSIVE. People respond to me better. Everybody comes up to me to talk to me. Girls look all the time. It just builds up even more confidence.

Two worries though:

I’m…

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