The Fellow Passenger on a Crashing Train
Even though I’ve just met you, I believe we will be friends.
First, I will tell you something about me, then you can tell me something about you, as that, I believe, is how friendship works.
Here is something I believe: I believe that people don’t know how people work when they’re young and maybe that’s why we’re so reckless with each other when we’re young.
I think people think that people come and go, in and out of life and I think that school teaches them that, that life changes in big annual movements, that one year you’re this and the next, you’re that. But life blends into itself as you get older and you realise, you will watch a few, if not many, of your friends get old.
You will watch them lose their minds and their hair. You will watch them get sick and get better. You will watch them succeed and fail. You will watch them get married, get divorced, get pregnant and yes, eventually, you will watch them die. Or they will watch you die.
So this is what I believe friendship means. And I’m sorry to have to put such a heavy burden on you. But you have put the same burden on me.
Now you can tell me something you believe, as it is your turn, and this is how friendship works.
—Iain S. Thomas
one day i woke up and i realised that i had forgotten what i looked like. that day i
remember looking in the mirror and feeling disappointed.
i hope that one day i'll make myself so valuable
that i will never have to feel disappointed ever again
i just wish that you would see that we're exactly the same
and i wish you wouldn't see this similarity
as a reason to run away
I felt that it was time for me to give an update of sorts on the current situation I’ve gotten myself into so I can clear my head a little and think straight for the next 24 hours.
I’m extremely petrified of chemistry these days. Somehow I just can’t bring myself to do it, even though I know that its extremely important and something I used to sincerely love back in secondary school. But then again, I think I didn’t know shit in secondary school about pretty much everything so thats hardly worth mentioning. In other news I got 17/20 for my economics dbq which shows that good things can happen if you try very hard to make them happen. Hindi exam countdown: 13 days, 12 if I don’t count today, which I shouldn’t because I spent the day watching the Ugly Truth and Legally Blonde (time spent doing something you love isn’t wasted time, or so I keep telling myself) and generally rejoicing that tomorrow is a holiday (yay for labour day!)
Drama is finally over and I am so happy that we ended it properly and I have no regrets. And I did manage to keep to my deadlines and reduce my procrastination (?) The thing I’m most worried about is that I am not working nearly hard enough to get where I want to get in life. I can’t do any work ugh and I get so anxious about not doing any work that I spend all my time worrying about not doing work and eventually can’t get anything done. Its awful.
We’ve finally decided on a prom table, and I’m having mixed feelings because someone who I really wanted on that table isn’t going to be there now and I’m not sure that I truly like those who will be there. Its complicated, but I have faith that it’ll get better eventually. Not everything needs to have a terrible ending though, right?
Trying to focus less on guys and more on work work work. Its terrible that I appear more focused in school where in fact I’m a nervous mess at home. The discordance is frightening, to say the least.
please please please let things get better.
I got 17/20 on an econs test
Got another week to study for chem
Got another week to practice for 2.4km
Thank god thank god thank god