rhythms

“I’m learning to deal with negative feelings, like envy.”
“What are you envious of?”
“Normal stuff. Women with more successful careers, things like that. I’m finding that if you try to resist your envy, it sticks around. But if you accept it as natural, and don’t judge yourself, it will pass, like a cloud.”
— Humans of New York

Today in economics I surprised myself and possibly everyone else in my class by drawing everything correctly and explaining tariffs correctly too. Sometimes I am so certain that I will do well in life and get through IB with flying colours and some days I am so so scared that I’ll fail and drift into oblivion and get left behind.

On my way home I was so tired and my head was aching and I was (am) so sleepy and I was thinking about how last year (and for a number of years before that) I used M as some sort of outlet through which I could sort out my perceptions/theories on life. But today I thought ‘Nobody wants to listen to your half-assed theories. Let your intelligence be seen through your work.’

I realised what drives the overachievers in my class, and overachievers in general. They never ever get tired of the rush you get from having complete conviction in your knowledge and in what you’re saying. And to have that prerequisite knowledge you need to study study study.

Getting my groove back and taking inspiration from the people around me.

Seeing god’s mercies everyday. He never makes me do anything beyond my capabilities.

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